It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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