Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
