I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
