I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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