If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
