if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
