Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
