I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
