when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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