Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
