so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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