The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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