We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
where am i from again
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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