my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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