I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
