Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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