my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
