Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
