The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
