Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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