I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
