So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
