ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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