Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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