so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
