Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
