Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
