I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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