I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
