I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
