There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
