Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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