I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
