He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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