I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize