Me. At least after what I've been through.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
