I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
