Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
