I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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