I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
