he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
