Cold hands, warm shart.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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