Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
