I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
