Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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