We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
