You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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