I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
