I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
