i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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