I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
