how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
