OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
